Destiel One shot
by hallucilucifer
Summary: Early Destiel. Starts on the S08E12 air date (30 January, 2013) Rated T for possible future adult situations and language.
1. A Feather For My Thoughts

**Just so we are all on the same page, the "Present Day" is the day that S08E12 aired. (January 30th) :)  
**

A Feather for my Thoughts

PRESENT DAY

Dean woke up with a startle. Not a natural startle, like you have just fallen down in a dream, but the startle you get when someone violently shakes you awake.

"Dean! Dean, wake up!" Sam shouted frantically.

"No, Sammy. Go away," Dean said, half asleep and annoyed. He turned back over and closed his eyes.

"Dean, seriously. Henry's gone," Sam said, more calm now, but still panicked.

"What? What do you mean he's gone? He was here last night," Dean said. He was standing up now. He walked away from Sam and out the door of the motel room. A few minutes later, he returned, slamming the door behind him.

"He took the angel feather. He's going to go back to his time. We need to find him. Now." Sam looked at Dean curiously.

"Dude. Why did you have an angel feather in the impala?"

"Never mind, Sammy," Dean snapped. "It's none of your business. Let's go, we have to find Henry before he screws everything up."

The brothers quickly changed into semi clean clothes, and they left the motel.

6 DAYS EARLIER

Sam was inside the motel room doing research. That's all he ever did these days. They weren;t even on a case, and he was still doing research.

"Hey, Sam, can't we do something other than sit here all night? We finally have a rare day with no cases, and we have done nothing but sit here all day. I'm bored," Dean complained. He hated being cooped up almost as much as he hated working.

"I'm trying to find us a case, Dean. Stop complaining."

Dean grunted in reply and downed the rest of the whisky in his glass.

"I'm going to get some air," Dean stated before leaving the room, unintentionally slamming the door on his way out.

Dean was sitting on the hood of the Impala, looking at the stars. Although he would never admit it to anybody, he actually loved looking at the stars. It was relaxing, even in the parking lot of a cheap motel. Dean was surprised that, after being outside alone for ten minutes, Sam hadn't come looking for him, to make sure that he was still breathing; Which he was, he just wanted to do something. Was it really so much to ask to have a night with no work, no research, and a lot of alcohol? Dean leaned back on the windshield of the Impala and crossed his feet. Dean found himself thinking about Cas, out of nowhere. '_Maybe Cas can entertain me,'_ he thought. Then, he found himself praying.

"Hey, Cas. I know you can hear me. Come on down and talk to me."

Almost immediately, Dean heard the fluttering of wings.

"Hello, Dean. What is wrong?" Cas asked, looking at the hunter curiously.

"Ah, nothing's wrong man. I'm just bored. Come sit," Dean said, patting the empty part of the Impala's hood next to him. Cas accepted the invitation and sat down next to Dean.

"You guys aren't on a case…Why did you call me here?" Cas asked. Dean and Sam don't usually call Castiel unless they really need him, so he was confused as to why he was there.

"I'm bored," Dean said, leaning back down on the windshield. He tugged on Cas's trench coat, which the angel took as a gesture to do the same.

"I don't understand, Dean. What do you want me to do?"

Dean laughed under his breath. "I want you to dance around like an idiot for my entertainment," he said sarcastically. Cas looked at him through the corner of his eye, and Dean could tell that Cas didn't know it was a joke. His smile faded, and he stopped laughing.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Cas asked, confused as to his reasons for being there.

"Never mind, man. Let's talk," Dean said simply. Cas was silent for a minute.

"What are we talking about, Dean?"

"Anything. You start. What's on your mind, Cas?"

Again, Cas was silent. He tensed up a little bit. He didn't want to say what his on his mind. Castiel wasn't good at sharing feelings. It was mostly because he wasn't supposed to have feelings. But around Dean, he did. He just didn't know how to talk about it, or even if he should talk about it. It was Dean, after all. He probably wouldn't return the feelings, so why talk about them?

"Hey," Dean said. "You okay, man?" The angel looked at the hunter. He realized that he must have been silent for some time, or Dean wouldn't have asked if he was okay.

"No, I am not okay. I need your help, I guess."

"Well, that's a first. Dean Winchester, at your service. What can I do ya for?"

Cas felt warmth rush to his face at Dean's statement. He gulped as he thought about what he was going to say. After some debate with himself, he sighed through his nose, and then he spoke.

"Well, there's this…person. A person that I know. Whenever I am around them, I have a strange sensation throughout myself. Like a kind of warmth. It's strange and unusual. It's strange yet good."

Dean sat up on his elbows. "Ooh, who's the lucky lady?" he asked through a small chuckle.

"It's not a woman, per say, Dean," Cas said nervously. Dean sat up all the way.

"Hey, Cas. You know you can tell me. You're my best friend, I wouldn't judge you for anything. You know that." He put a hand on the angel's shoulder for reassurance. Cas blushed.

"I will be right back, Dean." And with that, there was the flutter on wings, and Cas was gone.

"Well, I guess that conversation is over," Dean sighed. "It's just you and me now, Baby." He patted the Impala and leaded back, hands folded against his stomach. Dean closed his eyes and listened to the sound of nature fight against the sound of the near-by highway. He felt a sudden cool breeze against his face. He opened his eyes and saw Cas standing over him.

"How long have you been standing there, man?" he asked, sitting upright.

"I just got here, Dean," Cas said. His hand was in the pocket of his trench coat. "I have something for you." He pulled his hand out, and in it was a long, thin, black box wrapped in silver paper. "Happy birthday, Dean," he said, handing over the box.

"Wha…" Dean looked down, obviously thinking. "Hey! It is my birthday, isn't it? I guess I lost track of the dates…" Cas looked down, still holding out the box. "Thanks, Cas."

Dean took the box and proceeded to take the wrapping off. He saw a smile creep across Cas's face as he did so. It made him smile. Finally, all the paper was off, and the black box was revealed.

"Open it," Cas said excitedly. Dean did so and found a single angel feather.

"Woah, Cas. I don't…I don't know what to say, really," Dean said. He was in awe. The good kind of awe.

"Well you could start with a 'thank you,' I think that is what humans say when one gives the other a gift," Cas said. Dean let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, Cas. Thanks a lot," Dean said, smiling up at the angel.

"Dean, you know that person I was talking about earlier?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. What about them?"

"It's you, Dean."


	2. Confessions

Dean was speechless. Literally speechless, which was a rare occurrence with Dean. He didn't even make a joke, or a snide remark – nothing, which was even rarer.

"Are you going to talk sometime, Dean?" Cas asked nervously. He had absolutely no idea how the hunter was going to react to his confession. He was actually a little but scared that it was going to be bad.

After what seemed like hours, Dean finally spoke.

"Wha…?" he muttered. His voice small, making him sound nervous.

"What…what?" Cas asked, a bit confused. Dean could tell that the angel was on edge. He had, after all, just confessed love for Dean. This was big, and Dean didn't want to hurt Castiel.

Dean rubbed his forehead, obviously deep in thought. He was trying to think of what he should say. He looked at Castiel, who immediately looked away, avoiding eye contact. Dean studied the angel for a moment.

"Please stop staring at me like that, it makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable," Cas said, feeling a bit awkward. There was obviously tension there now. Dean looked away, and Cas immediately loosened up a little bit.

"Cas, I…I don't…know what to say, honestly. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. What do you want me to say, I mean…" His voice trailed off as he ran out of breath. He was flustered, and he felt heat rushing to his face. He looked away from the angel.

"I want you to say that you feel the same way, but I know that my expectations may not come true. I just…I don't want this to make things awkward between us now, and if you want, I will wipe your memory, but please, just take a minute to think about it…" Cas was talking fast. He was obviously nervous. Dean chuckled softly, which made Cas more uncomfortable.

Dean was quiet for a couple minutes.

"Okay," he finally responded. "Cas, okay. But just let it be known that I never open up to anyone, so you should feel privileged right now…" Dean trailed off. Cas nodded. "Okay, anyways," dean cleared his throat. "Well…I like you too, Cas. But I'm not sure if it's genuine or if it's because you just told me that you like me. So…"

Cas looked up. There was a small smile on his lit up face. The expression made Dean smile.

Just then, the door to the motel room opened up. Sam came out.

"Everything okay out here?" Sam asked. "Oh, hey, Cas."

Castiel nodded a 'hello,' avoiding eye contact with the taller Winchester.

"Y-yeah, Sammy. Everything's fine," Dean sputtered. Sam didn't need to know about their conversation.

"You've been out here for like three hours, you know," Sam said. "Just making sure you're okay."

"You find a case, Sammy?" Dean asked, trying to change the subject.

"No, nothing that some other hunter can't take care of. All minor stuff. You still wanna go do something?"

"Uh, n-no. Thanks. I'm not bored anymore, I got Cas," Dean said, a small hint of sarcasm in his voice. Sam looked at his brother, then at Castiel, seeming a little bit suspicious.

"Okay. I'll be in here if you need me." He turned to go back inside, then stopped and turned back around. "By the way, Dean, happy birthday." Dean smiled.

"Hey, thanks, Sammy," he said.

Sam stepped back into the motel room and closed the door. Cas let out a heavy exhale, and Dean shifted in his seat.

"Thanks for not saying anything to Sam right now," Cas said. Dean smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

"I wouldn't have told him. Not now, anyways. We aren't done talking yet." Cas eyed him curiously.

"What else is there to talk about, Dean?" he asked.

"I don't know, Cas. I've never had to exchange feelings before. I'm not good at this," Dean said. Cas shrugged. It was true, though. He had never had anyone who he could really open up to.

"Look at me, Cas," Dean said. Cas eyed him through the corner of his eye.

"No, Cas. Eye contact. Come on." Cas did as Dean asked, as much as he didn't want to at the moment. Looking into Dean's eyes made him fill with a kind of embarrassment. His face was getting hot and he was on edge. Dean's eyes were such a perfect color of green, it actually pained Cas to look at them for a long amount of time.

Dean felt the same way looking at Cas. The grey-blue color of Cas's eyes was one that Dean had never noticed before. It may have been because he had never looked. Dean bluched a little bit thinking about it.

Dean leaned in a little bit, making it so that there was less space between their faces.

"Look into my eyes, Cas. Is there really something worth your time in there?"

"Yes," Cas whispered as he closed the gap between them, softly locking his lips against Dean's. Dean sank into the kiss, taking Cas's face in his hands. When they broke apart, Cas leaned their foreheads together.

"Okay," Dean whispered softly. "Okay."

Cas smiled, lightly kissing Dean again. Dean kissed him back through a wide smile, happy to have finally found something worth living for.


	3. Something Worth Living For

**A/N:**

** Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been really busy with school, work, etc. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and reviews are much appreciated!**

The next morning, Sam noticed that Dean was acting a little bit strange. Dean seemed more anxious than he usually was.

"What's with you?" he asked, not wanting to set his brother off, but wanting to know what was going on.

"It's nothing, Sammy. Just got a lot going on," Dean replied. He was nervous, and he knew Sam could tell, which just made him more nervous.

"You…wanna talk about it?"

"No, Sam. Leave it alone." Dean got up and left the motel room, slamming the door behind him.

"Cas," Dean said. "Get your feathery angel ass down here. We gotta talk."

Dean waited for a minute. Nothing happened. Almost five minutes had passed before he heard the sound of wings behind him, meaning that Cas was there.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said. "What do we need to talk about?"

Dean turned around. "What do you mean, 'what do we need to talk about?' It's not like we have a situation on our hands or anything. Do you not remember the conversation we had last night? Don't you think it poses some…difficulties?" Dean was breathing heavily. By the look on Cas's face, he could tell that the tone he used might have been a bit harsh. He had no idea what Dean was talking about. He was confused as to why Dean was upset. Dean softened his face a little.

"I'm just saying…what we talked about…" his voice trailed off.

"I thought we talked it out last night, Dean, I'm just not sure what else there is to talk about," Cas said hesitantly, putting his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. Dean sighed. He could tell he hurt Castiel's by yelling, and now he felt bad.

"I know," Dean said gently, trying to avoid yelling again. "I just don't know what to do about all of this." He looked at Cas. "I mean, should we tell Sammy? Should we keep it quiet…at least for now…? What? I mean, I'm not even sure that…" Dean's voice trailed off again. He had a habit of doing that when he couldn't put his feelings into the right words, and Cas started to worry that Dean was going to take back everything he said the previous night.

Dean noticed to look on Cas's face – hurt and confused.

"I didn't mean that, Cas," Dean said, stepping a little closer to the angel. He took one of Cas's hands in his own and led him towards the back of the Impala. He wasn't sure if he wanted Sam to see them holding hands just yet, so it was better to hide.

"I am sure. I am sure about how I feel about you. About us. I'm just not sure how to proceed with 'us.' I mean, it seems that everything I love either dies or leaves me, and I can't risk losing you, too. I have lost _everyone_, and I don't think I would be able to live with myself knowing that I lost you, too. That being said, I just don't know whether or not this is a good idea."

Cas looked into Dean's eyes. The eye contact made Dean melt a little bit. He blushed. Cas smiled a little.

"I don't want to lose you, either, Dean. But it's part of the risk. Not just for us, but for every couple. Take the chance to be happy, Dean. You've hardly had the happiness you deserve in life, so just take this as kind of a new beginning. A chance to be happy for a change."

Dean knew Cas was right. He looked down at his shoes. He was holding back tears, but didn't want Cas to see him tearing up. He sniffled, and looked back at Cas.

"Okay." Dean smiled. "Now the issue is telling Sammy. What should we tell him? Or should we tell him?"

Cas didn't know. He wasn't good at this, either. He didn't want their relationship to not be approved of. So he just shrugged his shoulders.

"I vote we don't tell him just yet. Let this play out a bit, y'know?" Dean lifted Cas's face towards his a little so they were making eye contact. He leaned down and closed the gap between their faces, planting a light, gentle kiss on Cas's lips. It was a short, sweet kiss, but right when it happened, Sam opened the motel room door.

"What the…what's going on, guys?" he asked warily, almost as if he were afraid of the answer he would receive. Dean pushed Cas away a little, letting go of his hands.

"No-noth-nothing, Sammy. Nothing is going on," Dean stammered.

"Bullshit," Sam said with a slight smirk on his face. "It's about time this happened, you guys have been eye-fucking pretty much since you met." He chuckled. "You two have fun, but keep it in the bedroom, please."

Dean let out a relieved sigh.

"I guess we don't have to worry about telling his anymore," Cas said. Dean smiled widely, and then pulled Cas in and kissed him hard on the mouth. Cas kissed back graciously. It lasted several minutes, and it filled Dean with a bliss that he had never felt before.

_Finally,_ Dean thought. _I have something worth living for. _


End file.
